what exactly is a wastiff? every answer i've seen has done nothing but confuse me.

a wastiff is a member of the species wastiffius, genus en hoffer.  a fetchindog is an enhoffer but not a wastiff.  the murf murf is an enhoffer and a wastiff.

how do i subscribe?

the murf murf refuses to be redundant.

what actually happened to darkmummy?

a rare combination of the plague and the pox, afterwhich darkdaddy had no choice but to throw her on the cart.  any rumors to the contrary were started by keeper in an attempt to manipulate reality via collective delusions regarding the truth. samson continues to be confused and thinks carol-next-door is darkmummy.

if the death you've said is impending for the past two years ever occurs, will badpoodle become the listowner?

the murf murf thinks not.  the murf murf will be listowner in perpetuity.  his internet connection speed will only improve after death.

what are the rules?

the murf murf could only care less if he bothered to care at all.  you operate at your own expense.

what is realty?

twoleggeds selling dirt.

what is reality?

the murf murf.