dear grandmalwaysdrivin-

how could you do this to your poor little ert? life in
ithaker is no life at all. i hate it. look at my misery

i hate it here. eviltroll sticks boners
in my precious little face

there's no place to hide

there are wicked ertblocking gates and
stern pointing fingers

wait a minute. there are computers all
over this pigsty

damnit, this one's not turned on

i know i've seen other machines in this